I showed him my bush... on skype.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
