I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I have tasted many bathrooms
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
