Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
