Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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