Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize