we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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