we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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