no, he came in my armpit
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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