I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you inspire me to be a worse person
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
