They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
