just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
