Sponge bath it is.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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