Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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