He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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