In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
