So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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