im gay
i know
yea but for you.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
worst night to have a conscience
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
