SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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