There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
