I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
