Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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