Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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