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don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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