I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
