Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
