I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
