It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
