I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize