yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
