We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
