so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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