I want to stick my p in your. b.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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