We're like a lot better than the average bears
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
