I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
