I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i love accidental penises.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
