the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
