After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
