Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
