Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
