Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize