I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We talked him into tasing himself.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
