Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
