Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
