In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
