She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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