: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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