god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
