You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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