I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
