just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
