this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
