Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
