Just fell off a train. Bad.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize