then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
