So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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