Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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