This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
