i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
