margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
