Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
