Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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