I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
