His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
