i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I've blown a few things in my day
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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