your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
