why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
