she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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