why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
