You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
